Written by THEUNIS, JOHANNES CLOETE firstname.lastname@example.org
The Drug of the New Millenium
By Mark B. Kastleman
(Longer summary for CFT by Mr D. Bosman)
OUR FAMILIES UNDER ATTACK
Internet pornography is creating an epidemic of obsession, compulsion and addiction that is
sweeping across the world like a tidal wave destroying marriages, families and individual lives with
a devastation never before witnessed in the history of the world.
The trail of wreckage in the wake of pornography’s unprecedented proliferation through the Internet
goes way beyond what we can imagine. The number of Internet sites and those viewing them
continues to increase so rapidly that no-one really knows the exact figures. The statistics presented
are from USA.
NUMBERS OF PEOPLE VIEWING INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY
· Sex is the number one searched for topic on the Internet
· In the USA well over 60 million people purposely visit porn sites viewing over 15 billion pages
of adult content per annum. No statistics are available for South Africa.
· 2500 new sites come online every week.
· 87% of University students use Instant Messenger
· 32 Million women visit at least one porn website per month.
· One of out every 6 women struggle with an addiction to porn.
HOW PROFITABLE IS THE INDUSTRY?
· Child porn has become an 83 billion dollar annual industry
· Companies can invest $45 000 a year and gross $2-3 million per month.
· Annual sales of porn videos/DVD’s are over $4 billion-20 times more than Hollywood.
· Cell phone porn is growing at a fast rate with revenue rising to $1 billion in 2005. Images on
cell phones are easy to acquire and is a real problem among the youth.
HOW IS INTERNET PORN AFFECTING CHILDREN
· 9 out of 10 children between 8 and 16 years old with Internet access have viewed porn mostly
· The 12-17 year age group is the largest consumer of Internet porn
· 62% of parents are unaware that their children have accessed these websites.
· Only 25% of teenagers with a computer at home say it has a filter or parental controls on it.
CHILDREN IN CHAT ROOMS AND INSTANT MESSAGING
· 50% of high schoolers “talk” in chat rooms or use Instant Messaging (IM) with Internet
strangers in the USA alone.
· 49 % of high schoolers have provided their personal info – this assists a stranger to locate them.
· 20% of high schoolers admit having met with someone they first met on the Internet, face-toface.
· 65% of learners admit to having committed unsafe, inappropriate or illegal activities online.
Some admit a “scary” experience.
· 30% of teenage girls said they have been in a chat room sexually. Only 7% told their parents.
· Demand for porn images of babies and toddlers is increasing dramatically.
WHAT ABOUT CHRISTIANS?
· 50 % of Christian men and 20% of Christian women in the USA are addicted to porn. 60% of
these women have significant struggles with lust.
· 51 % of pastors say Internet porn is a temptation and 37 % say it is a current struggle.
More statistics found on
www.enough.org or www.nationalcoalition.org
Much of the statistics provided are conservative figures.
This terrible situation is claiming the spiritual and emotional lives of millions of people. Marriages
are destroyed, families devastated and lives extinguished.
It erodes the dignity, integrity and nobility of men. It isolates people. It darkens the light and spirit
within, separating people from God. Every civilization that has allowed this epidemic to spread has
collapsed into ruin.
Fortunately we need not be helpless victims. There is reason to be hopeful and optimistic by the
grace of God.
INTERNET PORN – A DRUG DEALERS DREAM COME TRUE
Porn can be described as a drug that radically alters a persons brain. It is highly addictive. The
pornographers (those who provide it) are a greedy affective group that understand porn’s immense
power. They study brain processes and how to influence them for maximum profits.
Why has the Internet drawn millions into the porn trap? The answer lies in the four A’s of the
FOUR A’S OF THE INTERNET
The Internet instantly makes available a vast variety of pornography. How has this accessibility
contributed to porn addiction rates:
– Removing a deterrent: Prior to the Internet a person had to go to the porn bookstore hoping
nobody saw you. Now in your home or office these images are instantly available. These
images may be so perverted that they cannot be legally sold in a bookstore.
– Variety: On Internet every form of porn is available. Remember, the human brain is highly
attracted to anything new or abnormal, the bizar, shocking, interesting, etc.
– Desensitization and habituation: The human brain quickly becomes habituated or
desensitized by the same porn images. He then needs more extreme images for the brain to
release the same level of neuro-chemicals. It is available on the Internet – like a drug addict
having access to more and harder drugs.
Pornographers mix nudity with aggression, submission, molestation, rape, etc. to cause the
brain and other parts of the body to release more and a variety of neuro-chemicals.
It took Ted Bandy decades to go from a level 1 desensitization looking at Playboy to a level
where he was brutally murdering women. On the Internet this process is must faster.
– Children at risk like never before: Pornographers are like drug dealers. They are willing to
give away some merchandise for free to “hook” a customer for life. The more exclusive
porn must be payed for.
The latest research shows that children and teens 12 to 17 years of age are especially
susceptible to porn images due to the immature structure of the brain. The connection of the
young persons brain between the frontel lobes (reasoning and discernment) and limbic
system (emotional, pleasure) is extremely underdeveloped. That is why children often “act
without thinking”. They act illogically because the emotional gut-reaction part of the brain
is in control at the expense of the logical. Imagine what happens when porn images that
bypass the logic center enter and are stored in the highly emotional illogical adolescent
brain. It creates confusion, stress and behaviour that only now are being better understood.
Porn in magazines has become expensive. Through the Internet millions of porn images all over
the globe can be viewed for free:
– Pay sites: They are websites that require payment. They will first offer free “teaser” photos
to get the person interested. The drug dealers have a similar tactic. Having tasted the “drug”
some viewers cannot resist more.
– Curiosity: Many people browse the Internet out of curiosity while some actively look at
porn. When they see it they cannot get it out of their minds. Then they pay to access the full
The greatest fear a porn user has is discovery – getting caught. With the Internet they have
access to the hidden drug. On the Internet the user can self-medicate in complete privacy and
secrecy. He can self medicate while maintaining his reputation and outward appearance with
family and church. This secret addict has become a serious problem in religious communities.
Those who make porn aggressively pursue everybody. They will do anything to get people
hooked. They are quick to say it has no effect on you. They thrive on the oxygen of freedom
then turn around and pollute the very air that made their existence possible. Pornographers
prosper by stealing the personal freedom of others.
Pornographers are also well aware of the fact that many cell phone users are teenagers.
If a person is addicted he or she have lost their freedom. If anybody is exposed to porn against
their will with no power to resist it (suddenly appears on Internet screen) they are severely
Ingesting porn not only harms the viewer but damages all within the viewers sphere of
influence. Today there are many credible psychological and neurological studies which
conclusively show the harmful effects of pornography.
BRAIN SCIENCE BEHIND PORN ADDICTION
What is behind the enormous addictive power of pornography? We need to understand the true
nature and purpose for which this sacred power of sex and wondrous gift was place in each person.
Porn is powerful because it takes advantage of the mental models with powerful emotional
biological and chemical corrections throughout the brain and entire body. These models come on
when we reach puberty and start on the male/female friendships and eventual marriage. Porn seeks
to twist the truth and “counterfeit” this built-in attraction. It’s goal is to excite, ignite and exploit
these natural God given desires.
The media also promote sexuality in a way directly contrary to physical, mental and emotional
health, family relationship, success and happiness.
Each of us is born with a glorious gift to create life. As part of this gift God placed within us
powerful feelings, emotions and attractions. This is necessary for a husband and wife to join
together and become “one” in every way. But with this comes responsibility and boundaries. Why?
Because it triggers an overwhelming response in the brain and body so powerful that the only “safe”
place for its expression is within marriage.
A NARROWING PROCESS
In a physical intimate process the brain begins to narrow its focus until it reaches the climax. That is
the most powerful focused singular event the brain can engage in. This crescendo experience can
only take place on a very narrow landing strip. To reach this position the brain must narrowly focus
its attention and block out all distractions like work, problems, children, taxes, etc.
Release of Natural chemicals
To aid the narrowing process, the brain and other body parts begin releasing endogenous (from
within) chemicals. These chemicals or natural drugs serve to heighten energy and focus. They
trigger feelings of attraction, relaxation and excitement. They produce a “high” which provides a
These natural chemicals are the following:
This chemical causes intens focus on the spouse at the exclusion of all other matters. It helps to
concentrate on the positive qualities of each other and promotes a positive mood.
This chemical generates increased energy by giving the body a shot of adrenaline. It has been linked
to raising memory capacity so that the couple can remember the finer details of each others features.
It stimulates the reproductive process in both men and women. For men it is the key hormone in
This is the most powerful of all the chemicals. It triggers contractions at child birth and milk
production during nursing. It bonds mother and child.
Oxytocin draws a couple closer to each other. This joining becomes a symbol of fitting together of
every facet of our being. God meant this experience between husband and wife to be a union of
their whole selfs – flesh, heart, mind and spirit. Such a union is only possible if there is total
commitment to each other.
This chemical is released at the end bringing a deep feeling of calmness, release from stress and
This higher holistic experience is not possible outside of marriage because the brain operates
differently when engaging outside of marriage (porn or illicitely). Viewing porn is totally “heartless”.
When this sacred cresendo is apart from the holistic marriage relationship it produces a devastating
dis-ease and dysfunction throughout the entire nervous system.
There is only one context within which an individual can safely enter the funnel – a healthy
The funnels powerful chemical, biological and emotional process can only produce the holistic
outcomes when experienced within a committed marriage. Outside of that setting the funnel
experience is highly destructive. Why? Because we were created that way.
Understanding the beautiful gift available to husband and wife and the tremendous effect it has on
the brain and the rest of the body is essential in understanding the power behind pornography. Porn
wants to tap into and take advantage of this secret power God has made available to us.
What happens when an individual enters the funnel viewing porn? The processes are nearly the
same to intimacy in marriage but the results are radically different.
The porn viewing mental model is worlds apart from a healthy marriage mental model.
A NARROWING PROCESS ON INTERNET PORN
At the top of the funnel viewing porn the individual enjoys a wide perspective of the world. This is
the person they want to be with sound beliefs and commitments. The moment they begin to look at
porn the persons brain immediately begins to narrow its focus.
Similar to the marriage funnel the porn viewer begins blocking out distractions. The object of his
narrowing are the porn images. Porn is “heartless” of design. With his heart and spirit disconnected
from the funnel process the porn-viewers brain alone is in control and all the knowing is “me-me,
mine-mine and more-more.” With no hart and spirit to create balance, the brain is not restricted to
narrow but to super-narrow. The release of natural chemicals speeds the process on its way.
The Release of Natural Chemicals.
Through a process similar to marriage intimacy the persons body begins releasing endogenous
chemicals. He feels excited and aroused. He escapes from the reality of life.
The same natural chemicals as in marriage are released, but with a different result.
Elevated levels in the brain produce focused attention and goal directed behaviours. He only sees
attractive bodies. It triggers feelings of ecstasy. A release of dopamine is associated with the
cravings and dependency in drug addictions. This explains why porn addicts experience powerful
cravings and dependency as they descend in the narrowing funnel and withdrawal symptomes when
they discontinue porn use.
It functions similar to the normal marriage. It also increases memory capacity. This is why porn
addicts can recall the images seen with vivid clarity even years later. He carries in his mind a
private porn library he can access any time. This is most frustrating if you wish to overcome
Testosterone levels increase dramatically causing a self-sustaining building cycle. It increases the
desire for more porn triggering the release of more testosterone. The narrowing male brain narrows
even further. This causes the porn viewer to remain in the funnel for hours without tiring leading to
At the final, oxytocin levels rise dramatically forging a powerful bond but with porn there is no
physical compassion. What is he becoming attracted to? This may explain why porn viewers
develop an attraction for women with a certain body build.
Men may seek porn because they are lonely. When released oxytocin dissipates the bonding
disappears and the individual is left more lonely than before.
This chemical is released at the end evoking a deep feeling of calmness. Individuals turn to porn to
self-medicate and escape the pressures of life but in actual fact add more pressures.
THE EXPERIENCE MORE THAN SEXUAL
There is much more that occurs in the pornography funnel than sexual arousal. Remove arousal and
any similarities to intimacy in marriage cease. Porn viewing contains many emotions, feelings and
memories that have nothing to do with sex. It is these “other” connections that gives porn its power
that goes beyond the sexual.
Porn viewing links emotions and feelings that do not belong together – feelings that make to sense
and that are not compatible – arousal mixed with fear, shock and anger and climax combined with
hopelessness, guilt and frustration. This mix-matching is what they use to trigger powerful mental
They mix nuditity with images of aggression, violence, incest, rape, murders and more.
When moving down the porn funnel a tidal wave of conflicting and confusing images and messages
wash over the viewer. He experiences shock, arousal, excitement, guilt, lust, fear at having “givenin”
again, and many confusing messages.
These emotions and feelings are directly contrary to the way we were designed to feel during
intimacy in marriage. It gives rise to conflict and confusion in the brain triggering the release of
even more endogenous chemicals.
Research shows that these visual images are stored as emotional memories in the brain before the
logic centres realize what has happened. When the logical brain catches up saying: this is not right it
results in instant conflict.
Such confusion puts the nervous system under stress and brings a “flight or fight” type of response.
The entire porn process is supercharged far beyond what sexual arousal can do.
The human system is not designed to deal with all the conflicting stimulation. That is why neuropsychologists
refer to porn as “visual crack cocaine”. In describing this excessive power, porn is
also referred to as an eroto-toxin.
Porn therefore triggers a response so powerful that we have no natural built-in mechanism to cope
with it – it is a complete and total overload.
God never designed sexual climax to be a singular focus, an end in itself event. When used as a
selfish means to experience a rush of pleasure and self-medication, it creates an imbalance,
dysfunction diseased state in the human system, an illness just like a drug or alcohol dependency.
The brains mission is to turn every activity into a habit as quickly as possible. That leads to
boredom. Internet users always seek more extreme images and are prepared to pay for them.
Why doesn’t the brain get bored with the sexual process in marriage? In a healthy marriage
relationship intimacy is part of many aspects happening in a couples life. That holistic life
experience is always evolving, deepening and never remains the same. It is therefore highly
unlikely that the brain will habituate and become bored. If a couple act like “married singles” with
the focus only on the physical like porn viewing it also can become boring.
WHEN REALITY RETURNS – THE HOPELESS DIALOGUE
When married couples move through the narrow part of the funnel their hearts are filled with
positive feelings of love and mutual appreciation. Their wide perspective returns and they move
forward better able to meet the challenges of life.
Conversely, when the porn viewer emerges from the narrowest part of the funnel back to a wide
perspective the heart-less “drug-high” of porn and the pleasure quickly dissipate. Suddenly his
rational thinking returns and the hopeless dialogue begins: “What have I done. What was I
He wasn’t thinking – that was the problem. Once into the porn funnel he stops the ability to ‘think”.
The overpowering flood of chemicals overrides his thought and reasoning abilities. The frontal
lobes – logic centre of the brain – are virtually shut down and the limbic system, which controls the
pleasure/emotional centers take over.
A wave of intense feelings of quilt, shame, sadness frustration and regret wastes over his mind. The
fantasy vanishes and reality sets in. This can send him off to watch porn again or he can try and
fight it only to loose in most cases unless he finds his way to God through Jesus Christ who has the
power to break the bondage.
This was the Tale of Two Funnels: One utilizing intimacy in a healthy marriage, the other using
porn as a form of self-medication. The outcome of these two paths are totally different.
IS PORN SIMILAR TO DRUG ADDICTION
The consequences discussed are so obvious that the conclusion can be made that “Pornography is
Research is presently being conducted by neuroscientists and in the neuro-psychology fields that
will provide clinical evidence to officially enter porn as “addictions” in the Diagnostic Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders.
The question that needs to be answered is: Does pornography lead to a chemical dependency
commonly experienced with drugs? Is porn therefore “substance abuse”?
· Porn mimics intimacy and “fakes” the body into releasing a tidal wave of endogenous chemicals
which is what drugs do. From this perspective porn is a drug.
· Porn triggers the release of the body’s own endogenous drugs just as sexual intimacy does. The
porn viewer gets addicted to these internal chemicals similar to the triggering by a
pharmaceutical drug. Is this not chemically induced addiction?
Epinproine alone gets the “vertebrate brain” “high” on its own self produced morphine or
Arousel dependence through porn may be compared to brochemical alterations related to
excessive amphetamine use. Satiation effects (hours looking at Internet porn) may be compared
to those related to opiate use. Fantasy behaviour can be related to such neurotransmitters as
dopamine norepinephrine or serotonin all of which are chemically similar to the main
psychedelic drugs such as LSD.
Pornography is not like a drug, it is an endogenously processed poly drug, providing intense
although misleading sensory rewards.
Pornographers are non other than drug dealers.
HOW DOES PORN RADICALLY ALTER THE BRAIN AND OTHER BODY PARTS
· Dominant Mental Model
Combining repetition with extreme visual images, porn builds an incredibly dominant mental model
in the brain. Consistent porn use radically alters the physical and chemical structure of a persons
system at the cellular level. He becomes a “different person” showing the same kind of structural
change that brain scans reveal in drug addicts.
· Diminishing coping skills.
The more porn is viewed the more dependent the user becomes. The more porn is accessed the less
able a person is to cope with life in healthy ways. He is literally restructuring his brain to respond to
stress by looking at porn. It is similar with other drugs.
· The “Core Cause” goes untreated
Porn watching may not be the basic problem but a symptom of a deeper problem. Why does a
person need to escape and self medicate? It can be due to poor self-care, a lack of true intimacy in
meaningless relationships or some other sinful way. The ‘core cause’ or sinful way needs to be put
· Attitudes and Behaviours Change Dramatically
The way we think and believe are all a result of mental models we build over time. Our mental
models are like glasses through which we see everyone and everything around us. By viewing porn
a person constructs an incredible dominant mental model. When this mental model is activated it
triggers major shifts in the chemical and emotional operations of the brain and other body parts
which has a direct impact on the attitudes and behaviour of the porn viewer.
The porn viewer is transformed into a different person. He becomes tolerant of sexualised media
and may exhibit moods swings, be inpatient and depressed. Pornography alters the nervous system
structure and order. In so doing it alters an individuals mind, personality and spirit. This is because
porn images are stored in the emotional centers of the brain, where they can be called up at any
time, place or situation. The porn user can be playing with his children when a porn image enters
the stage of his mind. This can urge the person to look at porn again.
If a person is struggling with the “chemical dependency” of porn, know that there is hope for full
recovery and a return to a healthy normal life.
THE MALE AND FEMALE BRAINS
The male and female brains are structured differently, causing men and women to approach and
respond differently in the funnel.
Women place an emphasis on the “whole” while males focus on the parts of the whole. It is female
multi-tasking and male do-one-thing-at-a-time mentality.
Men will respond to visual stimuli with more vigour and speed than the female. This partly explains
why the primary market has been male.
It is clear from this that men and women were created to be partners – not in spite of our differences
but because of this.
God intentionally made men and women different. We should realise this and direct those
Generally women are not turned on by pictures of nudes. They would be aroused by pictures of
coupling because they prefer to see a relationship in action. Women prefer romantic words because
the female mind is better organised to place the priority on a relationship, the male on achievement.
How do women fall into the porn trap?
Women are today also pursuing the female porn market. The pornographers have found out that:
· Females place a high priority on the sensory package as a whole. For porn to be addictive to
them there must be more than an ever changing stimuli.
· The female brain and body does not decend swiftly down the funnel. She takes more factors into
account such as tenderness, love and romance.
· Females do not like seeing images where the female is aggressively dominated or abused. They
prefer visuals where mental agreement is present.
How do pornographers target the male brain?
Internet pornographers are some of the most cunning merchandisers in the world.
· Vision is the key perceptual sense in males. They “like-to-look” and respond fast to visual
· Males are able to descend down the funnel fast blocking out all outside emotions or things.
· Males are more attracted to anonymous nude females. They are less interested in relationships.
· Males have much more testosterone going through their systems then a female.
· The male brain can focus narrowly on the physical act. Therefore a variety of changing material
THE REAL KEY IS CYBER-SEX CHAT ROOM
Women are less interested in Internet Pornography. They are more easily drawn into: Internet Chat
Chat rooms consist of informal groups of people who “talk” with one another by typing messages
which are sent over the Internet. If two people want to talk privately they can enter a “private” chat
Knowing the functioning of the female brain the chat room is the perfect model to attract women to
All this is close behind a “shield” of anonymity that lends itself to full disclosure beyond that of
Before the woman realizes it, she has achieved an artificial intimacy that she perceives to be
superior to that in her marriage. Just as the porn-addicted husband is often no longer satisfied by his
wife the chat-addicted or “cybersex” wife is no longer satisfied as she compares her marriage to the
artificial intimacy with her online companion. Over time, her conversations become more bold and
explicit. All the while her relationship remains anonymous and safe – so she is led to believe.
Today a significant number of young females are turning to Internet Chat Rooms.
These Chat Rooms lead to cybersex which can devastate a women’s life and that of her family.
Confession of a woman
“My life became one of gratification and it all started because of curiosity. It was a slow subtle
process that takes you on a trip to hell. My children lost respect for their mother and my family was
nearly destroyed. I know of many women who have fallen in the same trap.”
Like it has done to so many men Internet porn/cybersex Chat Rooms have taken decent, intelligent,
respected and successful women and ruined their lives.
It becomes a “drug of choice” where women find so called relief from pain, stress and realities of
The Internet provides this type of environment for women more than any other vehicle in history.
THE “VICTIMS” OF PORNOGRAPHY
Porn claims its victims without regard to age gender, race or religion. With the unlimited
distribution potential and capability of the Internet, porn’s casualty list grows longer with each
In addition to the well documented link between porn use and rape, incest and molestation, Internet
porn is also subtle, robbing individuals of healthy relationships, respect, morality, harmony,
Many are those being addicted to Internet porn. The destruction is at a level and intensity never
before experienced in the history of mankind.
Porn destroys marriages, increases crime rates, spreads sexually transmitted diseases, etc.
Porn is a selfish hobby that gives nothing to anyone but the viewer and the porn producer.
THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN
Pornography is degrading and humiliating to women as a whole. Women need to be honoured for
their tremendous value and contribution to our society in many fields. They should ratter be treated
with dignity and respect as valuable human beings. No man exists except that a woman sacrificed
herself to give him life.
Porn portrays women as a collection of body parts, objects of lust who enjoy being dominated and
used solely for the purpose of gratification. Or they are shown as crazy nimphomaniacs willing and
anxious to sleep with any man. These images degrade, placing them at great risk.
Studies in Denmark, Sweden, Great Britain, New Zealand and Australia showed that: “As the
constraints on the availability of porn were lifted … the rape rates increased”.
In Australia, South Australia liberalised its laws on porn while Queenstand maintained its
conservative policy. Over a 13 years period the numbers of rapes in Queenstand remain at the same
low level while South Australia’s showed a “sixfold increase.”
Sweden: They outlawed sex shows four years ago and are now considering a ban on the sale of
violent porn video tapes.
More info: www.moralityinmedia.org
CHILDREN ARE SEVERLY VITIMIZED BY PORN
· Internet porn is often the first exposure children and teens have of sexual images. This plants in
them a twisted and perverse view of human intimacy that is difficult to weed out. These images
are etched into their memories for the rest of their lives.
· Children are notorious for imitating what they have seen, read or heard.
· Copycat crimes committed immediately after exposure manifest even among children. An
eleven year old boy looking at graphic violent porn on the Internet for 20 minutes, stabbed an
eight year old girl to death.
· Children are highly impressionable! Most incidents like the one above occur after limited
exposure to porn – in some cases after only being exposed once or twice.
This is the most tragic of all because it requires the actual sexual abuse of children. The producers
of child porn are almost always pedophiles or “child molesters”.
In 60% of child molestation cases adult or child porn was used to lower the inhibitions of children
molested. These children suffer tremendous guilt, shame and anger as they grow older and
understand the morality of their abuse.
A rapidly increasing number of porn addicts are turning to child porn.
Child porn should not be about choice but about protection.
Children just do not have the ability to make an informed decision with regard to Internet porn.
Children are easily manipulated because their minds are so tender, pliable and impressionable.
For teenagers porn is no “choice” at all. Giving porn to a teenage boy is like giving crack to a
toddler: addiction is almost quarantined. No wonder boys age 12 to 17 years are the porn industry’s
core targed with 20 times the normal amount of testorose suddenly running through a male teens
system at puberty how can anyone say: “He has the presence of mind and self-control necessary on
his own to discontinue once exposed to it!
Witness of a 16 year old boy:
Porn enslaves your mind and body. When you want to quit it rips at you and tears you apart
because you know what you are doing is wrong but your mind and body keep begging to have it, to
feel the stimulation you get from it. Then, because your are not getting the “high” you get into a
huge sense of dispair.
SOCIETY SUFFERS AS A WHOLE
Porn/Cybersex Chat Rooms like “mole-crickets” in a garden eat away at the roots of freedom,
decency, family values, respect, integrity and honour. They function “under the surface” in our
society. You cannot immediately see the damage being done. It is privately and quietly going on
behind closed doors in bedrooms, dens and offices all over the world. You see the more obvious
signs when a woman is raped, a father molests his daughter, a pedophile strikes a child or a murder
takes place. But most of the devastation, invisible to the public eye rages on behind closed doors in
We have all the tools we need to protect ourselves and our families from this awful plague.
· Teach Sacred Intimacy
Sacred sexuality is a precious gift from God. It is part and parcel of our nature. It is good and
beautiful and has the power to create life. We were Created with powerful feelings, emotions and
attractions. This was done to motivate us to join together as husband and wife and become “one” in
every way. With this power comes limits and boundaries because it triggers an overwhelming
response in the brain and the rest of the body, so powerful that the only “safe” setting is within a
We need to teach our children how wonderful this sacred gift is. It is something to protect and
reserve for the right time. This sacred sexuality is worth waiting for because it will be one of the
most fulfilling experiences of our lives.
The media uses sexuality in a perverted way which causes much damage to both young and old.
1. The purpose of chastity
Learning to live a moral life-styl protects from deceptions and pitfalls that can be devastating. We
can choose our behaviours but we cannot choose the consequences. Moral principles do not enslave
us; they keep us free and happy. Sexuality has enormous power to create immense joy in its proper
place or out of context can create great misery.
2. Teaching about the two funnels
Teens frequently have a difficulty fully comprehending “why” they should wait. One of the most
effective ways to explain to teenagers the difference between sacred sexual intimacy in marriage
and “sex” outside of marriage is through the illustration of the two funnels.
3. Open communication
It is wise for parents to establish open, honest positive communication with their children regarding
sexual matters. For help with how to talk visit: www.sexandyoungamerica.com
Consider the following statistics: 91% of teenagers 15-17 years old that had not had sex said they
were influenced by what their parents have taught them.
A study in the USA revealed that two-thirds of USA teens who have had sexual relations wish they
had waited. This study also found that 85% of teens believe sex should only occur in long standing
We need to place and demonstrate our faith and confidence in our youth. They are able to stand
4. There is such no thing as “Safe Sex” Outside of Marriage
America leads the industrialized world in sexualy transmitted diseases (STDs). More than 68
million Americans are currently infected. A total 68% of teens are unconcerned about STDs having
being taught there is such a thing as “safe sex”.
5. Protection of condoms
Even if condoms could protect teens and adults from all 25 plus STDs sex outside of marriage
would still cause damage that goes far beyond the ravages of disease right in the mind, heart and
6. Shut down the gateway to porn addiction.
The sexualised media be it TV or magazines is a gateway to pornography addiction. Images are
“physically” stored in the brain as mental models and directly impact how we think and behave.
The more we take in such images the larger and more dominant the mental model becomes until it
finally triggers “automatic” thoughts and reactions. Consider the daily volume our children receive
through the media:
* Each year teens will have viewed nearly 14000 sexual references, yet only 165 of these
will have dealt with abstinence, the risk of pregnancy or STDs.
* In a recent analysis 56% of all programs on television were found to contain sexual
I * Sexual content on prime-time TV more than tripled in the past 10 years.
7. TV pushes teens to start sex earlier.
In a survey done with 1792 teenagers 12-17 years of age it was found that the sexual content
of TV programs encourages adolescents to initiate sexual activities. The impact of TV
viewing is so large that even a moderate shift in sexual contact could have a substantial
effect on their behaviour.
Everything we see or hear is physically stored in the brain as part of a mental model. Every
time we see a sexual image or hear such message it is stored in what we may call our
Sexualised Media Mental Model. Being pelted by hundreds of these images/messages every
day imagine what this mental model looks like in the brain of a teenager.
8. Entertainment guidelines
In less than 3/10 of a second an image is already recorded and stored in your brain. That
being true the following is recommended:
a. Do not channel surf on TV. Know what your are going to watch and that it is
b. Do not trust movie ratings.
Everywhere there are computers – at school, at the library, at a friends home, at home where
children can access pornography. You need to control and educate the children. In your own house
you have total control. The following can be done:
9. Install protective filters to keep porn, violence, hate, gambling, etc. out or your computer. Make
sure the filtering is effective.
10. Educate yourself regarding computer technology and the Internet. Uneducated parents are left
unaware of a child’s involvement with Internet porn or cyber chat rooms. Spend time with your
children on the Internet.
11. Keep the computer in a “high-traffic” location. It must not be in a child’s room. Isolation and
secrecy are primary components of Internet porn and chat rooms.
12. Educate children about the advantages and dangers of the Internet. Teach them why porn is
harmful to the brain and their lives.
13. Discourage teens from engaging in Internet chat with strangers, the risk of sexual dialogue,
manipulation addiction, etc.
One of the greatest tragedies of pornography and all of its cousins in the media world, is that they
disconnect the viewer from a mindful awareness of all the beauty and potential that is present. He
sacrifices precious moments, that could be filled with peace, joy and fulfilment instead of the
“robotic” pursuit of momentary sensation.