The Education of Children - Glenn Conjurske

The Education of Children

A Sermon Preached Sept. 25, 1988. Recorded, Transcribed, & Revised.

Deuteronomy, the sixth chapter, and we will begin reading with verse four. “Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.”

I’m going to speak to you this evening on the education of children. You will find in these verses that we read, “Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.” Teach what diligently unto thy children? “These words which I command thee this day.” The word of God is the thing that we are to teach diligently unto our children. But before we ever think about teaching our children, we have to go back to the verses preceding that, and there we find that there is something necessary in us before we can think of teaching our children. There is a qualification necessary in us that will enable us to teach our children. And I think that one of the biggest difficulties in raising children, and endeavoring to turn them out right, lies not in the last half of this passage, the part about teaching the children, but in the part that comes before—-the part which simply describes what the parent himself ought to be. So many parents, when they have done all they could do and failed, and their children turn out bad, then sit down and through their tears they say, “What did we do wrong? What could we have done more?” And the answer to that question may in fact be: You could not have done more than you did. The problem is in what you were. And as long as you were what you were, you probably could not have done any more than you did. Children learn more by example than they do by precept. In other words, you may do your best to teach your children diligently what you want them to be, and after all, they will become what you are rather than what you teach them.

Now, to some of you folks that might be a great comfort. To some of you, it may not be a comfort at all. But if you are the right thing, most likely, your children will follow that more than what you teach them. If you are not the right thing, they will probably follow what you are rather than what you teach them. If what you are and what you teach them are in fact the same thing, then you have a very good chance of turning your children out right.

Let’s go back, then, to verse four. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: and thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” Now, when a child grows up in a home in which the parents love the Lord their God with all their heart, with all their soul, and with all their might, this naturally rubs off on him. This zealous and whole-souled devotedness to the things of God is the foundation of the proper bringing up of a child. He sees that the thing which engrosses all of the energies, and all of the soul, and heart, and strength, of his parents is GOD. He grows up in an atmosphere which is permeated with GOD, just like a fish grows up swimming in the sea. And this atmosphere, permeated with God and with all of the things of God, becomes the natural element of his own soul. The fact is, he doesn’t know anything else. You know, children learn the things that they’re exposed to, and if the only things that they’re ever exposed to are the things of God, those are probably the only things they’ll know. I know that it’s a very difficult thing to expose them only to the things of God, I suppose in some sense impossible, unless you shut them up in the woods somewhere. Sometimes I think that might not be a bad idea. I’m not recommending it, but I’ll tell you I am very reluctant to take my children to the grocery store with me. There aren’t too many places that you can take your children any more without exposing them to corruption and temptation. But I have heard some people teach and contend that we ought to expose our children to everything, and let them make an intelligent choice. Expose them to the bowling alley, and the amusement park, and expose them to the world’s music, and the deck of cards, and whatever else the world has to offer. And then expose them to the things of God, and let them make their own choice. You can’t force God or religion upon them, so the story goes. So you just let them make their own choice.

Now that is against the direct command of God which you have in these verses. It says, “Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.” You don’t expose your children to everything that the devil has to offer, as well as everything that God has to offer, and then say, “Child, make your choice.” I’ll tell you which choice he’ll probably make, because the heart of man, woman, and child is naturally inclined to evil. You may dispute with anybody’s theology on that subject if you please, but it is hard to dispute with reality. You cannot dispute with the experience of it, the universal experience of it. “Facts are stubborn things.” You teach your children diligently the words of God day after day, line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little, there a little, or even here a lot, and there a lot, and you’ll find it is with difficulty that they lay hold of those things and learn them. You take them out somewhere in the world where they are exposed one time to some folly or sin, and already they know it. Why is that? It’s because their hearts are naturally inclined to what’s wrong. And therefore, you have got a battle upon your hands to overcome that natural inclination, and the first principle of your course is not to feed that natural inclination to evil. You don’t expose them to every evil thing. You just starve those lusts and affections of the flesh. Don’t give them any food to grow on, and they may never grow so strong as they have grown in some of us, who fed them when we were young. I believe that is essential to educating your children properly. You want them to grow up in an atmosphere which is permeated with God and with the things of God.

We’ll talk about that more a little farther on, what exactly that means, because there’s room here for a lot of self-deception. You can say, “Well, yes, we do love the Lord our God with all our heart, and with all our soul, and with all our might,” and when it comes down to the practical reality, it does not appear that you love the Lord as you say. And if there’s anybody on earth that can pick out an inconsistency in you, it’s your children, for a couple of reasons. One, because they know you very well. And for another, because children are just naturals at finding inconsistencies. We were when we were kids. We pointed out every inconsistency in our parents, and in the elders and leaders in the church. Of course, we were looking for something. We were looking for an excuse for our own sin. But I’ve had my very young children point out inconsistencies in me, sometimes quite innocently, sometimes just asking for information. I say, “You can’t ever do such and such a thing,” and my very little child will say back to me, “Why did you let me do that such and such a time?” They’ll pick out inconsistencies. Therefore you want a real atmosphere which is permeated by the things of God, and the only way you’re going to have it, is if your heart is really possessed by that love for God, and if you really do love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.

Now, that kind of devotedness to God, that kind of love for God, can’t be hid. It’s obvious. A child will know it. He will look at your life and see the things that you live for, the way that you spend your time, what activities you delight in, and what things you just endure because you have to, and so forth. He’ll see all that. He knows you like a book. He can read you like a book.

Now then, you’ve got to have it in your own heart first. And you know this by experience. Have you ever been in school and taken some course, and found that that course was just as dry as a desert in drought? (That’s an expression we used to use concerning some of our courses when we were in school.) Why was it? Why was it so dry? Because the teacher had no heart in the subject. He wasn’t interested. He was just doing a job. But you get the same course taught by somebody who has a heart for those things that he’s teaching, and all of those dry facts and figures and propositions will come to life. Well, it’s the same thing when you’re trying to teach your children the things of God. If your heart isn’t there, you won’t make any impact on them. You won’t make any impression upon them. But if your heart is there, those things that you are endeavoring to teach them will live, and they will understand: this is not just some proposition that my parents think that I ought to understand. This is their life. And it will make an impression that won’t be easily undone.

Now then, if this is not what you are, how are you going to get to be that? Verse six says, “And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart.” Here is the key. The word of God filling your heart. I do not believe that this means merely to have the word of God in your mind, though that certainly is a step in the right direction. You can’t get the word of God in your heart unless it goes through your mind. But I believe you might memorize this whole Bible and not have a shred of it in your heart. You might spend hours a day reading it and not have any of it in your heart. To have it in your heart implies a love for it. Now if these words are in your heart, and you do love the Lord your God with all your heart, then you are the person who can make an impact upon those children of yours.

It says, “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.” Here is a command of God. “Teach them diligently unto thy children.” Take all of those words of God that are your life and that mean so much to you, and instill them into your children. And, by the way, this doesn’t mean just to sit down and memorize a verse out of the Bible every day, or something of that nature. It means those principles of the word of God by which you live. You instill those into your children. I believe you’re going to do it as much by example as by precept, and, in fact, probably more by example. Nevertheless, to teach them diligently certainly implies to teach them by word of mouth and by precept, as well as by example. But this does not necessarily mean formal instruction. There is actually a better way. He says in verse seven, “And thou shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” In other words, the subject of your ordinary conversation ought all to be centered around the words of God. That means your ordinary conversation throughout the day, whatever you may be doing. He says, “You shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up.” All day long, the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, and every place in between. Now, this is not a mere matter of diligently teaching them to your children. This is something more than that. “You shall diligently teach them to your children,” but all the rest of the time, every place in between, “You shall talk of them.” Your ordinary conversation is to be taken up with the things of God, and if it is, this will take more effect with your children than any formal instruction.

Now, let me tell you there are some people with whom that is the case. I know some people that I rarely talk to about anything else but the things of God. And I know some other people with whom it is very difficult to strike up a conversation on spiritual things. I’m talking about Christians in both instances. I know some with whom it is very difficult to maintain a spiritual conversation. I know some with whom it is perfectly natural and easy—-some with whom I rarely talk about anything else. Why is that? What makes the difference between the person with whom you can hardly maintain a spiritual conversation, and the person with whom you can hardly ever speak about anything else? The difference is in the heart. The one has the word of God filling his heart, and soul, and mind, and he loves the Lord God with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength. The words of God are in his heart, and naturally what’s in the heart comes out. “Out of the mouth proceedeth the heart.” Now, some others are very easy to talk to about almost anything on earth or in the world, and you find that they very easily strike up a conversation on any such subjects—-and very easily maintain such a conversation. But you have a difficult time holding them to a spiritual conversation. Why is that? Well, it’s because the world is in the heart. The things of earth fill the heart rather than the things of God. And when his children see that when it’s “lesson time” or “devotion time” or “prayer time” or “family worship time” or “family altar time” or whatever it’s called in that particular household, when they see that at that time mother and father talk about things of God and diligently teach them to their children, and all the rest of the day they talk about everything else under the sun, what impression is that going to make? The things that are spoken of when the heart and the schedule are free are going to make the deepest impression, because that is obviously where the heart is. That is obviously where the life is, and that is the thing that will tell in the lives of the children. In other words, it won’t do much good to diligently teach your children the word of God at certain set times if the rest of the time your example diligently teaches them something else. But if you talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up—-in other words, if it’s the natural ordinary subject of your conversation—-then all of your diligent teaching will have your example to back it up, and it will take effect.

Now, he says in verse eight, “Thou shall bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.” Verse nine, “Thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house and on thy gates.” Now, you may choose to take this literally, and literally bind them for a sign upon your hand or frontlets between your eyes, and literally write them upon the posts of your house and on your gates, and I won’t object to it. Just one thing I would suggest, if you want to write the word of God on your walls or on the posts of your doors or gates or whatever: write it, don’t embroider it. Don’t put it up there in such an ornate fashion that all it is is a showpiece. I’ve seen a lot of that in Christian homes. He says, “Write it.” Put it up there, in other words, for a message to your heart, and not for a showpiece for your friends and neighbors. But let’s apply this figuratively rather than literally—-and I’m not objecting if you take it literally, but we’ll apply it figuratively. Everything ought to be governed, your hands, your eyes, your house, your walls, your gates, your doors, everything ought to be governed by the word of God. And the word of God ought to fill it all. All your daily activities. Not only the fact that you are talking about the things of God during your daily activities, but those activities themselves are determined by the word of God.

You try to teach your children diligently the words of God, and your children see that when your time is free, and you can do what you want to do, you don’t sit down and read some godly, spiritual book. They see you sit down and read some novel, or sit down and read some worldly magazine, or worse yet, sit down and watch the television (and I thank God, none of us here have one of those). They don’t see you go out to try to win a soul, but out to try to win a ball game or a round of golf. But if the children see that, they will be very quick to discern where your heart really is.

But maybe your heart doesn’t go so far into the world as that. Maybe it just settles down in the earth, and if your children hear you trying to teach them the heavenly things, and then see your life from hour to hour and day to day, and see that you’re all wrapped up with the things of this earth (feathering your nest down here), they’ll be quick to discern that your heart really isn’t where you profess to want their heart to be. But when we have the state of things which is described here, “loving the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your might,” the words of God filling your heart, the words of God coming out of your mouth, “when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up,” the words of God bound upon your hands and bound before your eyes, the words of God written “on your walls and on your gates”—-in other words, the words of God filling your whole heart, your whole life, your whole house, all your activities, everything filled with the word of God—-that will make more of an impression upon the children than anything that you endeavor to teach them by formal instruction. That is the way to bring children up in the fear of the Lord, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

But there is another thing that I want you to notice in verse seven. He says, “Thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children.” This is not something that you can relegate to somebody else. “Thou.” I believe there are reasons for that. There’s a bond between parents and children which normally does not exist any place else. No other person has the love for your children that you have for them. No other person understands your children as you understand them. This is true at any rate while they are young. When they grow older, and develop close personal friendships of their own, someone else may know them better and understand them better than you do. But while they are young, no one knows them or understands them as their parents do. And therefore no other person can teach your children what they need to know as you can teach them. This cannot be relegated to a Sunday school teacher, or a Christian school teacher, or to anyone else. God says, “Thou.”

Now as to what you ought to teach your children, this scripture is plain enough. “These words, which I command thee this day.” But in the modern Christian school movement, and the modern home school movement among Christians, there is vastly too much influence of the world in this matter. God tells you here what you ought to teach your children: “The words which I command you this day.” They shall be in your heart, and you shall teach them diligently unto thy children. Yet you know that most of the education in Christian families and Christian schools consists primarily of the things of the world rather than the things of God. Why is that? Well, because people are bowing down to the world’s standards rather than taking their standard from the word of God. God says, “This is what you are to be diligently teaching your children: my words which I command you this day.” But instead of that, they’re taught all the same curriculum that’s taught in the world, only they’re taught it at home, or taught it in a Christian school. I don’t mean that they’re taught exactly the same things in all the details, but I mean they’re taught the same general curriculum, rather than the things which God tells you diligently to teach them.

Diligently. Day in and day out. When you rise up in the morning, and when you lie down at night. When you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way. Speak of these things. This is Christian education. This is the education of children which we ought to be engaged in. You say, “Well, don’t you think we should teach our children to read and write?” Yes, I do. I do think we should teach them to read and write. But I don’t think we need to teach them World History and Social Studies and Economics and all the other things that the world teaches. The fact of the matter is we shouldn’t be occupied with such things ourselves. We don’t need to know them. We can’t glorify God any better by knowing them. Perhaps we can’t glorify him as well, if our mind is cluttered with these things. But “These words, that I command you this day, these shall be in your heart. These you shall talk of when you rise up in the morning, when you lie down at night, when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way.” In other words, through all these normal activities of life, these words fill your heart and come out of your mouth—-these things of God that will raise a child for God and for eternity. Let’s pray:

Father, we thank you for this passage of Holy Scripture. We pray that we might have wisdom to understand it, and grace to fulfill it. And, oh, we pray, God, that you will shed forth your blessing upon our dear children, that they all might be saved—-that they might be godly and holy—-that they might be servants of our Lord Jesus Christ. We pray, God, that you will help us to fulfill our responsibilities to make them so. Amen.

Glenn Conjurske